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vanGoog · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

I do not think he has had an affair, but I have had to put up with numerous girl friends who were not nice to me. Secondly he has used savings without informing me, given out our property without informing me, got personal loans, which I paid for when his debtors began following me yet he never told me about it, been careless with our property, He expects me to give up my identity for the sake of the family. He doesnt do anything extra for me to feel loved but he says I do not respect him..........Keep in mind that he is coming up with excuses not to chip in with the responsibilites in the house, not even cutting the grass around the house. His happiest moments are when I am working and he is sitting down, he feels like that is the way a loving wife should go about it. We have two kids. Is this some form of abuse? Am I playing it right?<br />

JobMixer · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

Yes, this is abuse. You have to lay down to be walked on.

Why are you sticking around? Don't say for the sake of the kids for heaven's sake. This is not 1950.

alibaba · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

That is mental and financial abuse and just complete disrespect. How long has this been going on? I would start talking to a lawyer ASAP. Have some self respect. This is not the way you should be treated or your kids should see you being treated.

JobMixer · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

thats not rite...u should have separate accounts dat he wont have access to cuz hez gonna keep spending money for himself instead of u and ur children...think about ur childrens future

Marush · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

neglect! your allowing him to walk all over you, kick him to the curb! your a hard working woman what do you need him for? he is certainly not a good role model for the children and when they get older they'll probably wonder why you stayed.

newrussian · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

emotional abuse. he feels no responsibility towards you or your family. consult a marriage therapist, and if he wont go with you, consult an attorney for divorce. at this point, you have enabled him enough. hes had plenty of time to straighten up on his own, and hasnt. its harder for people to change as they get older, and you need to save yourself and your children before he drags you any further into the hole.

good luck!

alibaba · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

It doesn't sound to me like you're playing anything, whether right or wrong. You are however allowing yourself to be played for a sucker. Your husband is living like a single guy, yet expects you to foot the bill for his lifestyle. Don't you think you'd be doing yourself a huge favour (not to mention your kids), if you got rid of this parasite?

penny · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

You are not playing it right, and I think its time that you decide whether you want to live with this creep anymore. Don't you have self respect? He is a selfish, uncaring self centered prig. All he is is a user. Get yourself together, hire a good divorce attorney, get a legal separation and file for divorce. This creep will have to leave the house and support his children. Why are you taking this abuse from this creep? Are you that insecure? Yes, you have two kids, but do you think these kids don't sense that something is not right? If you stay with this a=hole, you will not be doing right by your children. They will grow with lots of psychosis which will lead to the psychiatrist's office. It is time to end this farce of a marriage and move on.

wiezly · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

If you had to put up with numerous girlfriends who were not nice to you then I would think that is a girlfriend. Does he have a job? It sounds to me that you allowed him to become so comfortable that he expects you to do everything. Savings if both of you are on the account then there's nothing that can be done now, get your own savings account. This is mental and emotional abuse. How can he say that you don't respect him? I think you are giving him too much respect! No this is not normal for anyone to be treated like. Obviously there is something going on with him if this is not normal behavior. Suggest marriage counseling and see what his response is. If he is against counseling then there's no use staying with him this is not healthy for you or your children they will see this as normal behavior if you have a daughter she will think this is normal to be treated like and most likely she will allow this type of treatment herself. If you have a son he will grow up and most likely treat women this way. This is not a healthy relationship for your family. Counseling, Counseling, Counseling!!!!!!

wiezly · 10-31-2007, 02:20 PM

The word is ......USED. You are being used. He is using you. You are his ATM machine and his cleaning lady/ cook and nanny to his kids. If you were not married to him, I would suggest you run like hell.

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#1
vanGoog Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 8 Rep Power: 0	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? I do not think he has had an affair, but I have had to put up with numerous girl friends who were not nice to me. Secondly he has used savings without informing me, given out our property without informing me, got personal loans, which I paid for when his debtors began following me yet he never told me about it, been careless with our property, He expects me to give up my identity for the sake of the family. He doesnt do anything extra for me to feel loved but he says I do not respect him..........Keep in mind that he is coming up with excuses not to chip in with the responsibilites in the house, not even cutting the grass around the house. His happiest moments are when I am working and he is sitting down, he feels like that is the way a loving wife should go about it. We have two kids. Is this some form of abuse? Am I playing it right?<br />

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#2
JobMixer Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 18 Rep Power: 0	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? Yes, this is abuse. You have to lay down to be walked on. Why are you sticking around? Don't say for the sake of the kids for heaven's sake. This is not 1950.

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#3
alibaba Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17 Rep Power: 0	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? That is mental and financial abuse and just complete disrespect. How long has this been going on? I would start talking to a lawyer ASAP. Have some self respect. This is not the way you should be treated or your kids should see you being treated.

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#4
JobMixer Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 18 Rep Power: 0	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? thats not rite...u should have separate accounts dat he wont have access to cuz hez gonna keep spending money for himself instead of u and ur children...think about ur childrens future

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#5
Marush Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 22 Rep Power: 6	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? neglect! your allowing him to walk all over you, kick him to the curb! your a hard working woman what do you need him for? he is certainly not a good role model for the children and when they get older they'll probably wonder why you stayed.

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#6
newrussian Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 21 Rep Power: 6	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? emotional abuse. he feels no responsibility towards you or your family. consult a marriage therapist, and if he wont go with you, consult an attorney for divorce. at this point, you have enabled him enough. hes had plenty of time to straighten up on his own, and hasnt. its harder for people to change as they get older, and you need to save yourself and your children before he drags you any further into the hole. good luck!

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#8
penny Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17 Rep Power: 0	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? You are not playing it right, and I think its time that you decide whether you want to live with this creep anymore. Don't you have self respect? He is a selfish, uncaring self centered prig. All he is is a user. Get yourself together, hire a good divorce attorney, get a legal separation and file for divorce. This creep will have to leave the house and support his children. Why are you taking this abuse from this creep? Are you that insecure? Yes, you have two kids, but do you think these kids don't sense that something is not right? If you stay with this a=hole, you will not be doing right by your children. They will grow with lots of psychosis which will lead to the psychiatrist's office. It is time to end this farce of a marriage and move on.

10-31-2007, 02:20 PM	#9
wiezly Greenhorn Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 30 Rep Power: 6	What kind of abuse is this, what can I do? If you had to put up with numerous girlfriends who were not nice to you then I would think that is a girlfriend. Does he have a job? It sounds to me that you allowed him to become so comfortable that he expects you to do everything. Savings if both of you are on the account then there's nothing that can be done now, get your own savings account. This is mental and emotional abuse. How can he say that you don't respect him? I think you are giving him too much respect! No this is not normal for anyone to be treated like. Obviously there is something going on with him if this is not normal behavior. Suggest marriage counseling and see what his response is. If he is against counseling then there's no use staying with him this is not healthy for you or your children they will see this as normal behavior if you have a daughter she will think this is normal to be treated like and most likely she will allow this type of treatment herself. If you have a son he will grow up and most likely treat women this way. This is not a healthy relationship for your family. Counseling, Counseling, Counseling!!!!!!

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