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titan22

My mom has repeatedly asked me for my thoughts on allowing my 13 year old sister to have a myspace page. I figure if she has questions, then other people do to. So i'll try to help out as much as possible. This is in the members lounge because it isn't investment oriented.

Background and info about myspace:
Myspace is a networking group of over 130,000,000 users. People can use it to find friends, meet people online, listen to music or find out about new movies coming out. Unfortunately it is also a site used for online predators. Out of the 130 million users, 80% are below 18. Myspace has an age minimum of 14 to be allowed to have a profile, but it is easily passed through simply by checking the box certifying your age. Although there is reason for concern, you can't ban your kid from it. If they want a page, they will get one at school, a friends house, or even public librarys. So the best method of safety is to be proactive.

Here are my steps for safety.

First, talk to you children about the dangers of myspace. Let them know what the bad people do. You may have a very intelligent child, but they are always susceptible to strangers who pose as children. Often predators will have a real profile disclosing there age, but use luring methods to get the child to meet with them. Often the predator will offer to "just be friends", then they will use a chat program online, and it may escalate to meeting in public or private.

Second, Educate yourself on what myspace is. Know what it is used for. Teach your child to not put any identifying indication on the page. Teach them not to include information such as phone number, address, school they attend, last names, and other identifying information. The site is easy to look over but in case you need a guide, i'll include it.

Name and location:make sure they don't put a last name or the city/town they live in.
Blogs:make sure they don't leave any information that is identifying there either. Teach them not to include specific info that may give them away. Also teach them to be respectful of others. Internet Drama is easily spread and can cause trauma to a young teen.
Top Friends:This is basically the spot for the top 8/16/24 friends. The #1 spot is usually for a boyfriend or girlfriend. The #2 spot is usually for the best friend.
Friends list: Just because someone is on the friends list, they may not be a real friend. They could be someone who they know online, in real life, or may not know at all. Popularity is important and sometimes having many friends would be a sign of popularity, even if they really don't know the person.
Comments: Comments can be left by anybody on the friends list. Review these to make sure they are not crude, obscene or sexually suggestive.
Personal info: Often they will include music, movies, and hobbies. There is a "heros" section and will often have mom and dad listed if they feel that there myspace is being spied on.

Third, Be proactive. Don't "spy" on your childs page. It will make them angry and it could often lead them to just creating a second page and only showing you the "real" page that you know about. I suggested my mother create her own myspace page and be added as a friend to my sisters page. Then have my mother put in the "top friends". This will allow my mother to view my sisters page and will also keep other kids from posting obsenities or crude comments if they know if an adult is looking at the page.

Don't worry about paying for expensive programs that monitor the internet. They can simply use a different computer to access it. Also, don't get angry about it. You know the saying, "all the kids are doing it." Well, they are. The important part is to take a look at your kids life. Also, don't be naive or ignorant about what your child is doing. Don't just assume they are a good kid, they all need help from an interested parent.

briansol

Myspace has privacy settings built in. Encourage your kids to set their profile to "private" so that only their friends can see it.

And the only why this works, is if they actually only "Add" their friends. As long as they keep their real-life circle of friends on, and the random people they don't know off, they should be pretty safe.

As Nick suggested, keep EVERYTHING personal off. Even something as little as your school can give you away. A school plus a photo = anyone can do some stalking and find "your little boy/girl".

Ditto on those "parent watcher" programs. Waste of cash.

The best way to monitor your children and keep them safe, is to talk with them about it in a normal fashion. Take them out for ice cream one night, and talk about all the creepy dudes like (insert some scrubby guy your kids know) and how it can be dangerous out there. Being a parent, not a spy, is the way to keep your kids safe.